Gearing Up for the 5k!

I tell you for sure, gearing up for this 5k has really sent me through some emotional days.  I mean, I'm not just running a 5k.  I'm trying to support a cause that I passionately believe in now due to personal experience.  So naturally, my daily motivation causes me to reflect on what led me to this point...Matt.  Gracious, the devil really knows where to go to try to steal our joy, doesn't he?  Only, he can't take it without our permission.

I don't know how many of you have ever trained for a 5k before but let me tell you...it's exhausting.  I mean, physically, psychologically, and emotionally draining...yet, invigorating too.  It's a great irony, really.  You run and run and run until your body is physically hurting and then your mind starts screaming at you to stop.  Now you're in a psychological battle to keep going.  You have to silence the voice in your head that is telling you you can't, that it's too hard, that you have to quit.  And because you are doing this for very personal reasons, when the battle is over (or sometimes during) your emotions are really raw because exhaustion is one of the few things that makes you let your guard down.  You don't really have much of a choice at that point because you no longer have the energy to "keep it together"...not that you ever could on your own anyway.  Am I making any sense at all??

Weight-loss Milestone!

Ok, I know ladies don't usually share their weight (particularly on social media among potential strangers) but I hit a major milestone today and just have to share.  Hopefully, it will encourage others to not give up!

So many times over the last 6 years or so I've gone through bouts of dieting and exercising.  I would lose several pounds and "hit a wall", then end up gaining back the weight I'd lost.  VERY discouraging. :/  Of course, I put on more weight after Matt died.  I was still hanging on to some baby weight before then, too, so... well, you know.  At my heaviest (on the home scale), I was 214 lbs.  (We all know the doctor's scales add about 15 lbs, right?)  Ugh!  For someone who's ideal weight is somewhere around 135 to 140 lbs, this was totally unacceptable.

Dear Anonymous...

"Was a great blog till you started attacking homosexuals. Hopefully you teach your children to be more open minded than yourself and leave the judgeing up to God... you know. The judge. Sin is sin and all those times you have lied in your life are just the same as 2 men/women laying together. Teach them to Love. That is Christianity." -Anonymous in response to The Theological Threes.

Dear Anonymous,

It seems that your idea of Christianity and my idea of Christianity are very different.  First of all, there was nothing in my post that "attacked" homosexuals.  I merely mentioned my concern for how I would respond to my children when they had questions about friends at school with same-sex parents or classmates engaging in homosexual activity.  Having homosexual tendencies is not a sin.  Acting on them is.  There's a huge difference.  I never said anything about not loving them.  We are all afflicted with different temptations.  For some, it may be stealing...others, addictions...another, homosexuality.   We are all still humans who are made in the image of God.  Yet they (the examples I gave in my post) have chosen a lifestyle that is against His will.  Loving someone does not mean you sit idly by and condone their sin.  Would you do that with an addict?  "Here, have another shot!  I love you, man!"  What if my 3 year old steals a pill that she finds in my medicine cabinet?  "Ok, sweetie.  Mommy loves you so you go ahead and keep it."  No!  In fact, loving them means confronting them with their sin and calling them to repentance because you care about them, their salvation, and their life!  But my post wasn't even about confronting them.  It was about what to tell my kids.

Second, you are right that God is the ultimate judge.  But He also gave us brains with the expectation that we'd use them and He clearly expects us to know right from wrong, which in and of itself requires making a judgment.  You said yourself that "sin is sin" which implies that you believe sin to be wrong.  That's a judgment, right?  Accusing me of attacking homosexuals is another judgment, right?  You obviously think I've done something wrong.  Why is it okay for you to judge me but it's not okay for me to voice my belief on the practice of homosexuality?  I've heard the line "Do not judge, lest you be judged." (Matthew 7:1) spouted off too often in defense of saying or doing anything that's disagreeable to another person.  That's not what that verse means and that's not what God intends for us to do.  Matthew continues in that same passage to talk about removing the speck in your brother's (another believer) eye when there's a log in your own eye.  We like to stop there and use it as another example of not judging others because "I'm not without sin so I should just keep my mouth shut lest I be judged."  But if you look at verse 5, Matthew (and therefore, God) never said to leave the speck in your brother's eye!  He said first remove the log in your own eye so that you may see clearly to remove the speck in your brother's eye.

Frankly, I don't buy the argument that all "sin is sin" anymore.  I don't believe that's Biblical.  Certainly, all sin separates us from God.  But I do not believe the Bible teaches that all sin is equal.  If that were so, wouldn't both the believers in Matthew's story either have specks or logs, not one of each?  There seems to be an implication that one is worse than the other.  You've probably also heard of "the unforgivable sin", blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:10).  Apparently, even Jesus thought that some sins were greater than others.  So, no.  I do not believe that all the times I've lied in my life are just the same as me having sexual relations with a woman.  I do my best to steer clear of both.

I have an open mind and I encourage my children to also think outside of the box.  However, there's a difference between having an open mind and having a meaningless theology.  Yes, love covers over a multitude of sins and I am ever so grateful for that truth!  God is love.  Pure and perfect love.  If in being love, He can still lay ground rules of what is right and what is wrong, then I can say with confidence that sometimes love must be tough.  Sometimes, love will not be the answer you want to hear.  That is Christianity.

Preparation for my first 5k! Stride to Prevent Suicide 2012

Ok, I know it's been a long while since my last exercise update.  Soooo sorry about that.  I'm trying to be more consistent and jump back on the bandwagon...again!  I could rattle off a ton of lame excuses, all true but still lame...spring break, company in town, planning a birthday party, family fights the flu.  Ok, so maybe at least one of those is not so lame. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to let all of you know that I am now training for my first 5k!  Searcy is hosting a Stride to Prevent Suicide 5k and 1 mile Fun Run/Walk.  Justin and I are going to run in honor of my brother, Matthew Austin Seabolt, who most of you know died by suicide on August 13, 2009.  If you live in this area and would like to join our team, let me know!  If you live out of town and would like to participate as a "Spirit Runner", that would be great too (It comes with a t-shirt)!  A team registration saves each individual adult $10 off the registration fee so if you're interested, get your money and registration form to me as soon as possible so I can send them all in together.  They are also having a memorial butterfly release which I'm really looking forward to watching.  Butterflies and dragonflies carry deeper personal and spiritual meaning for me now.  They comfort me when I see them because I feel a closer connection to God and Matt when one catches my eye.  My family has released butterflies in Georgia on Matt's angelversary, too, so this is another way to feel closer and more connected with them over so many miles.