Have a child that wants to run away? This worked for me...

My son and I had this discussion today.  He was upset with me because he didn't get his way.  He had just received a consequence for disobedience and he was mad.  Instead of responding to his anger and just telling him no, he wasn't going to run away, I used this opportunity to teach a life lesson in critical thinking and planning.  I mean, he may still want to run away but at least now he'll be prepared when/if he does, right?  ;-)

"Mommy, I'm going to run away to South America and live in the rainforest." (arms crossed, brows furrowed, pursed lips, mad face)

Me- "You are?  What will you do for food?"

 "I'm going to eat fruit off the trees there."

Me- "Oh, ok.  Well, what about on the way there?  What will you eat then...and how will you get there?  Walk?  That will take a long time to walk the whole way.  Where will you sleep?"

Autism: A Parent's Perspective

Photo courtesy: Arkansas Autism Network

As many of you know, our son has Asperger's Syndrome (and we recently learned that this term is no longer being used.  Now, it's just called high-functioning autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD).).  Anyway, I'm often asked about the signs of autism.  Parents want to know the symptoms so they can keep an eye on their own children and recognize any problems, to answer the question of "how and when did you know?".  Those who have children with a recent diagnosis want to know how we handle certain situations, the logistics, and how we cope with the challenges that having a special needs child creates.  Students want to hear from a parent's perspective and humanize the clinical description of the term "autism", to find an answer to the question of "who are these kids, what do they look like, and how will I recognize them out in the real world?"  Others are just curious and wish to know more about it and raise their awareness. 

The truth is, the spectrum is wide and varying.  I can give you our personal experience and some general things to look for, but every child is different.  And I mean, EVERY child-from the neurotypical to the not-so-neurotypical and the last thing I want to do is limit or stereotype a certain "kind" of child.  The "not-so-neurotypical", though different by nature, are still children and still enjoy what most children enjoy.  Jackson, for example, loves pizza, ice cream, french fries, candy, playgrounds, video games, movies, camping, and parties.  He forgets to pick up his toys or brush his teeth.  He argues with his brother and sister.  I guess that is part of the reason that there are so many questions about autism.  In many ways, they are like any other child.  Any one of the symptoms, when isolated, doesn't necessarily mean your child has autism.  It could just mean they are "quirky" in that way or a little "high-strung".  It's the combination of symptoms that should give you pause.  Here is what we observed in our son...

Morning Madness

"Mom, I put my clothes on and see...I found underwear in my drawer and put it on me."  I don't see because it's dark and my eyes and my aching body are struggling to find their function but I take his word for it.  Grammar is a work in progress for a child with a speech delay but I'm thankful that we can still understand him...most of the time.

"Ok, honey.  Good job."  I say, only half-intelligibly.

"And look.  I even have socks and shoes on my feet.  See?"  I don't look but feel a thud as he tries to hike his foot onto the bed and plops it in my lap.

The Theological Threes

I had an interesting lunch conversation with my darling 3 year old today.  It started with the usual torrent of questions, only this time the questions were a bit more difficult to answer and explain.  Justin and I try to be very honest in how we answer our children's questions while also trying to maintain age appropriateness.  That's a challenging task sometimes but we feel that it's important in providing them with a sense of security, safety, and trust in us, their parents.  Our philosophy is, "Reality is your friend."  I suppose another way of saying that is, "The truth will set you free."  With that in mind, here's today's dialogue:

Sock Insanity!

Who knew there were so many different types and brands of moisture-wicking socks?  I wasn't even really familiar with the term until I began planning our Disney vacation and read a suggestion about wearing them to keep your feet happy and blister-free after long hours of walking around the parks (and getting your feet potentially soaked on wet rides).  Sounds great to me!  But now I'm swimming in a sea of possibilities...on a limited budget.  I'm on a mission to find at least 10 pairs of moisture-wicking socks in at least 3 different sizes for less than $30.  Quite a challenge.

I also happened upon something called Blistershield and wondered if any one who might read this had heard of it or used it.  I also wondered if we were to use it, would it still be necessary to use the "special socks" as well.  Another question then came to mind; Is there a "homemade" prevention that would work just as well and not cost as much?  One more thing: how does this stuff feel on your foot?  We have a son with Asperger's who is very particular about how things feel on his skin, particularly his feet.  Blistershield, great as it may be, would be of little to no benefit to us if 1) Jackson won't wear it or 2) we make him and he's screaming and pitching fits about it...kind of defeats the purpose of making our trip a more pleasant experience for everyone. haha

I would love suggestions and advice!  Military friends, I reckon you probably have loads of experience in this regard and can offer ingenious insight!  Please help!  I would really hate for a small blister or foot pain to reek havoc on our joyous and exciting days in the parks.  Thanks in advance. :)

Our Little Songbird

Jackson is almost always singing. It's a well-known fact, too. Just ask his teacher who assigned him the Indian name, "Songbird", for their annual Thanksgiving costume party this year. He's a really great singer for his age, too. Most six-year olds have little self-awareness but this is particularly true of Jackson, among others diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I mention that to point out that when he sings, he really sings. He doesn't care who is listening. He is oblivious of whether or not his noise may be bothersome or distracting to someone. He just sings loud and strong. I truly love that about him and I hope it never changes! I love that he enjoys singing so much...but that's probably not surprising to most of you, considering my own passion for music.

Anyway, last night Justin and I were cracking up while listening to Jackson singing one of his new favorite

Oh, I Just Can't Wait to Be in Disney!

Jackson is so excited about going to Disney World that I think he might explode.  I guess I really should have waited to tell him about our trip.  But maybe this will teach him patience.  He keeps talking about the Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom.  He wants to see Mickey Mouse, Nemo, and the Lion King.  Oh!  And he's mentioned Buzz Lightyear a couple of times.  Sadie and Josiah are excited about the trip too but it's not something they constantly talk about like it is with Jackson.  It makes me wonder if he's like this at school all day too.  If he is, I feel sorry for his teachers. :)

Anyway, his enthusiasm for Disney mimics the enthusiasm of a certain lovable Disney character who can't wait to be King.  Remember him?  I picture Jackson singing a variation of this song with the chorus, "Oh, I just can't wait to be in Disney!"  Eighty-five more days.  Lord, help us. :)

Bullies, beware!

We had an incident happen Thursday afternoon that I want to share with you.  I really wasn't sure how to react.  You'll understand once you hear the story:

Jackson (our sweet, 5 year old Aspie) and his 4 year old brother, Josiah, were playing in the front yard when I noticed through the kitchen window another boy chasing after Jackson with what looked like a toy version (I hope) of a policeman's nightstick.  I couldn't tell whether Jackson was laughing or crying as the 8 or 9 year old boy chased him but nonetheless, my "Mommy Radar" went off!  Especially when I saw the boy swinging that stick around nearly hitting Jackson's head!