Broken Toys, Broken Hearts, and Better Parenting

You try and try to teach them, tell them, remind them, encourage them over and over again, hoping that it will eventually, inevitably sink in..."control your temper" and "respect your things".  But sometimes kids just insist on learning the hard way.

Not only is there now a new broken toy in the house, but a broken heart as well, as a result of both the toy and the new rule in this house as of now.  Mommy and Daddy are not buying any more toys...and we will not be encouraging others to buy any more toys either unless and until there is sufficient evidence to suggest that the children have learned their lesson and the importance of controlling one's temper and respecting their things.

Photo credit:  http://www.butterfunk.com

Poor Mike Wazowski. 

Parents Launch Executive Order to Stop Common Core and Student Data-Mining!

I'm sure President Obama would urge you to "reject these voices" but I sure hope you don't!  Believe it or not, tyranny IS lurking around the corner and has been since our country's conception.  That's why our founding fathers created our government with a set of checks and balances of power and gave that power to the People.  The power to protect our freedoms.  You.  Yes, you!  If you are eligible to vote in America, I'm talking to you!  Our founding fathers gave YOU the power and responsibility to defend your God-given freedoms.  Our government works best when we keep that balance in check by calling out abuses when and where we see them and then DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THEM (aka. stay informed and vote.  Get involved!  If you don't understand something, ask questions.  I was politically ignorant not that long ago myself.  Not dumb.  Just ignorant.  There is hope for us all. ;o)).

So many times I've heard people say things like, "Well, I just don't have time for that" or "Politics is not my thing so I just let those who are smarter than me handle that kind of thing."  Newsflash:  #1-I don't have time for it either but it has become too dangerous to ignore, #2- Politics is certainly not my "thing" either AND you most likely ARE at least as smart as they are but if not, that also means #3- they are smart enough to abuse their power which means you would do well to get educated so they can't take advantage of you and #4- if you choose not to get involved, you'll only have yourself to blame when the poop hits the fan (Heck, they're already flinging it right now.  I'm just waiting for them to throw it high enough that it finally does hit that fan and splatters everywhere!).  They cannot continue to abuse their power if we don't let them.  This particular issue (see the link below) threatens not just OUR safety and privacy, but more importantly, our children's.  It's one thing to mess with me, but I think most of us would agree (and certainly for me), we become quite a force to be reckoned with when our kids are in the line of fire.  I urge you to please get involved and informed.  Time is running out.  These parents understand the urgency.  Do you?  If we all band together and take a stand, we CAN stop this thing!

whatiscommoncore.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/parents-launch-executive-order-to-stop-common-core-and-to-stop-student-data-mining/

Bedtime at the Lillard House

Jackson read a story to us tonight about...you guessed it!  Animals!  The title is "I Love Animals!"  Once we reached the "In the Jungle" page, we read about pythons and tigers which led to the following conversation...

Jackson: "Pythons can squeeze and take your breath away so you can't breathe."

Me:  "Yes, you're right.  We should probably stay as far away from them as we can then, huh?"

All 3 kids agree wholeheartedly and Jackson reads the next section about the tiger...

"Tiger, with stripes of orange, white, and black, this tiger's looking for a snack"

Jackson:  "Whoa!  We better look out for that tiger too.  He's hungry!"

Sadie: "Yeah, and tigers eat meat and you know what we have that's inside of us?  Meat!  (pauses for emphasis) AND blood!" (eyes conveying the seriousness of this message.  We would do well to heed her warnings. lol)

After reading time, Sadie begged and pleaded for me to tell her a story while she was lying in her bed...

Me:  "Once upon a time.."

Sadie: "No, Mommy.  You have to turn the light off first."

Me:  "Okay, let's do that."  Light is off.  I start again.

"Once there was a lady named Sadie."

Sadie, giggling: "No, Mom.  Not a real story.  It has to be about a princess."

Me:  "Oh, ok.  Once there was a princess named Sadie."

Sadie, laughing: "Noo, Mom.  You have to use a real princess, like Sofia the first."

Me:  "Ok.  Once there was a princess named Sofia the first."

Sadie, giggling uncontrollably and clearly exasperated with me: "Nooo, Mom.  Hahaha  It's just Sofia.  Her name is not 'the first'.  haha  It's just Sofia. You have to haha start over."

Who knew I was such a bad storyteller?  lol  Tough crowd tonight, I guess? ;)  Memories.  Sweet, sweet memories.

Morning Madness

"Mom, I put my clothes on and see...I found underwear in my drawer and put it on me."  I don't see because it's dark and my eyes and my aching body are struggling to find their function but I take his word for it.  Grammar is a work in progress for a child with a speech delay but I'm thankful that we can still understand him...most of the time.

"Ok, honey.  Good job."  I say, only half-intelligibly.

"And look.  I even have socks and shoes on my feet.  See?"  I don't look but feel a thud as he tries to hike his foot onto the bed and plops it in my lap.

All By Myself

It seems as though Sadie has been in the "I can do it myself, all by myself" phase for at least a good, solid year. I'm thrilled at her independence...really.  And someday I will learn to appreciate it.  ;o)  I keep telling myself, "She'll grow out of this.  It's just a normal thing that all kids do.  She'll eventually accept your help sometimes without making a fuss." Oh, please!  Who am I kidding?  It's been a year already.  This is definitely not her typical "phase".

I suppose much of the frustration stems from two things: #1- I run out of patience or time and #2)- she runs out of patience with herself but still doesn't want help (although she'll say she does and then refuse it).  Very.  Frustrating.

Honestly, I try to give her control of a number of reasonable things.  I know how important it is to her growth and development and to her self-esteem.  She needs to have the chance to accomplish things alone.  She picks out her own clothes and shoes, then dresses herself (and has a style ALL her own).  She buckles herself into the car.  She carries her plate from the kitchen to the dining table and back.  Those are things that she can do by herself most of the time.  She's just slower about it...and I don't always make time for slow.  Sometimes that can't be helped.  Other times, it's just laziness or selfishness on my part.

Then, there are the things that she wants so desperately to do by herself that are settled with compromise.  She helps me pour her drinks.  If I'm baking something, she wants to crack the eggs and whip the batter (again, all by herself).  Sometimes I let her and just ignore the fact that only half the egg made it into the bowl or just dig out the piece of shell that falls in.  Other times I need to do it...like when I'm baking for someone besides us and are concerned more with quality.  In a public restroom, she wants privacy in the stall, to get her own toilet paper (which usually ends up being way too little or way too much), and to wash and dry her hands...you guessed it, all by herself.  You moms know that not every public restroom has a stool or short sink and you're not always comfortable leaving your 3 year old in the stall alone.  So what do we do?  We compromise.  I hold her up to the sink, soap, and paper towels.  I turn towards the door as much as possible if I need to be in the stall with her.  I let her try to get her own toilet paper and then help with the more or less as needed...while trying to be encouraging, supportive, and explaining that everyone needs help sometimes, even Mommy.  I think my message is falling on deaf ears (which may have more to do with my presentation than my actual words). :)

Let's face it, though.  These compromises take time.  It's hard to be patient.  Sometimes, it's just not even possible (for instance, when I need to go just as badly as she does. :)).  The point is, if there is something to be done, she wants to do it...all by herself.  She's definitely teaching me patience...and it's a hard lesson.  Kids will do nothing if not show you the ugliest parts of yourself.

Probably even more frustrating than my running out of patience or time (that is something mostly within my control) is when she runs out of patience with herself (not so much in my control).  "Mommy, help!  I can't do it!"  I try to help.  "No, I want to do it.  I want to do it!"  Seriously??  Make up your mind, kiddo!

Hopefully, I'm teaching her at least as much as she's teaching me.  Hopefully, I can model patience and how to graciously receive help when you need it.  That's a hard lesson for anybody, isn't it?  I still want to do most things all by myself.  I mean, don't we all think that our way is the best way?  If we didn't, it wouldn't be "our way", would it?

Yes, I'm gradually learning to appreciate her independence.  It means she'll be a strong, capable woman some day.  I'm so thankful to have a healthy daughter who can demonstrate her desire to do things "all by herself".  There are so many moms out there who would love for their children to be able to just feed themselves, to just have the cognizance and desire and awareness to even refuse help.  So, I'll try to embrace this "phase" and be grateful for her "stubbornness" and that my baby girl is growing up!  But, while it lasts, I'll also relish in the one thing she doesn't want to do herself...flush a public toilet! :)