Jackson (our sweet, 5 year old Aspie) and his 4 year old brother, Josiah, were playing in the front yard when I noticed through the kitchen window another boy chasing after Jackson with what looked like a toy version (I hope) of a policeman's nightstick. I couldn't tell whether Jackson was laughing or crying as the 8 or 9 year old boy chased him but nonetheless, my "Mommy Radar" went off! Especially when I saw the boy swinging that stick around nearly hitting Jackson's head!
I suppressed my instinct to run outside and smack the bully and instead, lingered for a minute to see how Jackson would react. He just walked off and started playing in the dirt by himself but he looked sad to me so I made my way to the front door. By the time I got to the porch, Josiah was already in our next door neighbor's yard trying to engage "the bully" with his green toy light saber. I wish you could have seen his determination. This bully was literally at least twice his size but 'Siah was fearless! When it became apparent that Bully wasn't going to fight him (probably because I was standing there watching), Josiah threw down his light saber in disgust and then just wailed on this kid! I mean, hand raised and smacked him as hard as he could across his back! Then I heard Josiah shout, "I'm gonna kill you!"
I suppressed my instinct to run outside and smack the bully and instead, lingered for a minute to see how Jackson would react. He just walked off and started playing in the dirt by himself but he looked sad to me so I made my way to the front door. By the time I got to the porch, Josiah was already in our next door neighbor's yard trying to engage "the bully" with his green toy light saber. I wish you could have seen his determination. This bully was literally at least twice his size but 'Siah was fearless! When it became apparent that Bully wasn't going to fight him (probably because I was standing there watching), Josiah threw down his light saber in disgust and then just wailed on this kid! I mean, hand raised and smacked him as hard as he could across his back! Then I heard Josiah shout, "I'm gonna kill you!"
Can you see my predicament? We do NOT encourage violence at our house and maybe that's why Jackson didn't retaliate in the first place. Truthfully, though, I think it was just in Jackson's nature to turn away. He's always had that demeanor. Josiah, on the other hand, has been known on many occasions to express his anger and/or frustration. But even with this knowledge, I was still surprised that he would take on a kid twice his age and twice his size. If I hadn't witnessed "the chase" prior to Josiah's confrontation, I would have thought HE was the bully and punished him for such behavior. But what do you do in a situation like this? On the one hand, he shouldn't be hitting and yelling "I'm gonna kill you" to anyone. On the other hand, he was defending and protecting his OLDER brother. Ordinarily, I would have made him go apologize but this was no ordinary event. I DID get on to him for his "I'm gonna kill you" comment (That just seemed over the top to me.) and we all went inside after that lest there be any other incident. But in all honesty, I was very proud of him. He stood up for and looked after his brother in his time of need. How could I punish him for that? Isn't that what love is all about?
I have a feeling this kind of thing will happen again. Unfortunately, Jackson is just an easy target. But I'm glad to know he's got a brother who's got his back. Maybe that will make kids think twice before messing with him again. Bullies, beware! Josiah's certainly not afraid of you. In the meantime, we'll continue to teach our children how to defend themselves and each other in appropriate, Godly ways.
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