**I've literally spent hours on this post. I even posted it late last night only to remove it hours later because it just didn't sit well with me. I'm not sure it's worth all this effort but despite my issues with my "father", I'm still called by God to honor him. I often talk too much (or type) and I don't wish to gossip or slander anyone. We all make mistakes. My father is a part of my testimony so I want to share that, but I also wish to honor God in doing so. It's been a tough balancing act for me in figuring out how to accomplish that goal. With that said, here is the post. I hope I've succeeded in speaking truth when necessary and holding my tongue (or fingers) when unnecessary.
I don't even know where to begin in describing this past week. It was a real doozy, that's for sure. Imagine finding out that your biological father was arrested and charged with shooting with intent to kill. You haven't seen him in over 30 years and the last time you spoke to him on the phone was at least 5 years ago. He never paid a dime in child support and was basically MIA for your entire childhood. He wrote you a letter (more like a novel) nearly 20 years ago, just before you graduated from high school, while incarcerated for armed bank robbery and check kiting and for which he still claims his innocence. He never initiated contact with your younger brother, who is now deceased, and you aren't even sure whether or not he knows that his son is dead...or if he even cares.
I don't even know where to begin in describing this past week. It was a real doozy, that's for sure. Imagine finding out that your biological father was arrested and charged with shooting with intent to kill. You haven't seen him in over 30 years and the last time you spoke to him on the phone was at least 5 years ago. He never paid a dime in child support and was basically MIA for your entire childhood. He wrote you a letter (more like a novel) nearly 20 years ago, just before you graduated from high school, while incarcerated for armed bank robbery and check kiting and for which he still claims his innocence. He never initiated contact with your younger brother, who is now deceased, and you aren't even sure whether or not he knows that his son is dead...or if he even cares.