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I'm a mother of 3 who started blogging as a way to share our many adventures and to expand beyond the everyday "mommy world". While there IS so much more to us mommies than the title, there is very little that doesn't in some way or another lead us back to or influence our children...if anything. So, I hope you enjoy following our family's randomness, because as all moms know- you can never anticipate what tomorrow will bring! Thanks for visiting and have a blessed day! :)

Monday, April 2, 2012

Preparation for my first 5k! Stride to Prevent Suicide 2012

Ok, I know it's been a long while since my last exercise update.  Soooo sorry about that.  I'm trying to be more consistent and jump back on the bandwagon...again!  I could rattle off a ton of lame excuses, all true but still lame...spring break, company in town, planning a birthday party, family fights the flu.  Ok, so maybe at least one of those is not so lame. ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to let all of you know that I am now training for my first 5k!  Searcy is hosting a Stride to Prevent Suicide 5k and 1 mile Fun Run/Walk.  Justin and I are going to run in honor of my brother, Matthew Austin Seabolt, who most of you know died by suicide on August 13, 2009.  If you live in this area and would like to join our team, let me know!  If you live out of town and would like to participate as a "Spirit Runner", that would be great too (It comes with a t-shirt)!  A team registration saves each individual adult $10 off the registration fee so if you're interested, get your money and registration form to me as soon as possible so I can send them all in together.  They are also having a memorial butterfly release which I'm really looking forward to watching.  Butterflies and dragonflies carry deeper personal and spiritual meaning for me now.  They comfort me when I see them because I feel a closer connection to God and Matt when one catches my eye.  My family has released butterflies in Georgia on Matt's angelversary, too, so this is another way to feel closer and more connected with them over so many miles.

There are so many misconceptions about suicide.  Just saying the word out loud can potentially empty a room or at least fill it with an awkward silence.  It's one of those things that most people don't want to talk about...or think about.  It makes us uncomfortable.  Even today, I still hesitate to tell others how my brother died.  Will they understand?  There's such a stigma that comes with it and I don't want to risk tainting my brother's memory with that.  I don't want his death to define who he was...who he is.  I want to erase that stigma, that shame.  I want the world to be more informed.  Suicide is the most preventable kind of death there is.  That's part of what makes it so tragic and the reason that we survivors are often plagued with such enormous feelings of guilt.  "I should have known.  How did I not see this coming?  If only I'd..."  I've had over 2 1/2 years to come to terms with that now.  The "what ifs" and "if onlys".  The guilty feeling that swallows you up and won't spit you out.  The unending stream of questions without answers.  God has healed me and continues to heal me more and more with each passing day- speaking His Truth to me when Satan's lies come to torment and confuse my mind.  I want to reach out to those around me and encourage others to do the same.  Love someone today.  Help someone today.  Let them know how much they are loved and that they are not alone.  Pray for someone today.  If you are feeling lonely and depressed, reach out, reach out, reach out!  There is a lifeline out there waiting for you.  It can take some persistence and patience to find it sometimes, but don't give up!  It's out there!  Depression can be healed.  Suicide can be prevented.  (Sorry.  I get a little carried away sometimes when I'm passionate about something. ;) )

In preparation for the 5k, I jogged/walked 3.3 miles today.  It took me 52 minutes on the treadmill and let me tell you, that 52 minutes just seemed to crawl by!  I think the only other times in my life when time moved slower were the three times I was in labor and the drive from Valdosta to Stockbridge to see my mom on the night that my brother died.  I may finish last at this 5k but I don't care.  I'm doing it and I'm going to make my brother proud! :)

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