With motherhood, I feel like I'm in my element...that this is what I was born to be. I know I'll always be a mother, even if my children leave this earth before I do (heaven forbid!), but they won't always need me like they have and like they do now. Don't get me wrong. I want my kids to grow up and accomplish new things, discover new things, become responsible adults. Still, it's bittersweet. Sometimes you just want to freeze time, you know? When my kids were younger, their dependence could get on my nerves sometimes and seemingly come at the most inconvenient times. I find myself missing those days. They still depend on me for many things, but there's much more they can do for themselves now...and that's as it should be.
My parents gave me a children's book for Christmas last year called If I Could Keep You Little... . I read it to the kids last night before bedtime and nearly cried. So much of it speaks to our family personally. I thought of Jackson, our singer and kindergarten reader. I thought of Sadie, our fashionista. I thought of Josiah, our cuddler who also requests peculiar ways to cut his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They are growing up. They are becoming who they were meant to be. I cherish the past, relish in the present, and look forward to the future. May God grant me the time to witness their transformation. May God grant me the wisdom to know when to hold on...and when to let go.