Bye-Bye, BSA

Those of you that are close to us know how much we enjoyed Cub scouts as a family.  Our boys could sell the heck out of some popcorn, too!  Two years ago we registered Jackson as a Tiger Cub thinking this would be the perfect outlet for him.  Our aspie would learn how to work with members of a team without feeling the heavy weight of competition.  In most instances, the only person he would compete with was himself.  After all, the cub scout motto is "do your best".  He would also have the opportunity to form deeper bonds and hopefully lifelong friendships with his denmates without the pressure and stimulation of a crowded room (except maybe for the occasional Pack meeting ;)).  Given that our charter was with the local First Baptist Church, we surmised that he would have good, male Christian role models (in addition to his father, of course) to guide and protect him.  And he did.

Somehow, a few weeks into the program I found myself in the role of den leader.  In a perfect world, my husband would be the parental counterpart for scouts but as circumstances would have it, our meetings were Tuesday evenings, the only night of the week Justin has to work.  So, I just went with it. :)  We played, we camped, we did experiments, we "saw" things, we "derbied".  We probably had the smallest den of our entire pack, consisting of only four boys, but we were a close-knit group and that included siblings.  My other two children were always in tow and other families' were as well.  My daughter, who was only 4 at the time, was convinced she was also a tiger.  It was hard work and I'm confident I always looked frazzled but it was so worth it. 

Not only did my son form friendships, so did we.  That first year I became friends with another Tiger den leader initially because we were both new to this "leader business" and I certainly didn't have a clue what to do and welcomed all the support I could find.  It wasn't until later that we realized we both had daughters the same age and they got along like peas and carrots.  Our second year we met a family who also have children with autism and were instant friends.  They were den leaders for the first time that year so we shared that mutual understanding not only from the autism standpoint, but the challenges that come with leadership as well.

Yes, I was quite the advocate until the recent membership policy change.  For those who don't know, in May of 2013 BSA's National Council voted to change their membership policy to include practicing homosexuals.  Before anyone gets all bent out of shape and starts calling me a "homophobe", let me set the record straight.  This is not an issue of "equality".  The Council didn't vote to include boys who are struggling with homosexuality.  In fact, the existing policy already did that.  No, this is an issue of morality.  This policy now, essentially, states that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being actively gay...as a scout. 

As a leader, you're still out of luck...for now.  That will change, though.  Mark my words.  I don't know how BSA can possibly defend a position that says scouts can be gay but leaders can't.  I'll be the first to say that is blatantly inconsistent and hypocritical and you can rest assured that LGBT advocates will be (and already have been) all but happy to point that out.  According to BSA's own survey, 61% of members opposed this change, yet they made it anyway.  Seventy percent of charters were held by churches.  I'd be interested in knowing what that figure is at the end of this year.  As for our Pack, another church picked up the charter when First Baptist dropped it earlier this year.  Kudos to First Baptist for having the fortitude to do it.  It certainly wasn't the "PC" thing to do and they did catch flak for it.

After the vote, I felt very disillusioned.  Boy Scouts of America no longer resembled the scouts I remember from my youth...not that I was ever a scout, obviously, but my brother was at one time and I had several well-respected friends who grew up scouting.  I was looking forward to helping my boys earn lots of belt loops over the summer and the verdict just deflated my enthusiasm for that until it was almost non-existent.  Our family was left asking, "Now what?" or to put it another way, "Do we stay or do we go?"

Really, the decision was an obvious one- just painful to execute.  At first I was angry to have been put in such a position.  My youngest boy was only 6 and I wasn't planning to have a conversation at that tender age about the definition of sexual orientation!  When he asked why we weren't doing scouts this year, what would we say?  Because I said so?  Well, that doesn't sound very fair.  And what about the friendships we had all formed?  Not just our dens' but our pack as a whole was fairly tight.

Well, he did ask.  We were honest without going into lots of detail.  I think we said something like, "Cub scouts is going in a different direction than what we think God wants us to go."  Since we took up homeschooling this year too, and that change brought us 4-H, we were able to add an alternative.  Now, don't get me wrong.  We love 4-H and the kids really like Horse Club...but 4-H is not scouts.  It's just a much different atmosphere.

Naturally, we were super excited when we learned that a TrailLife Troop was forming in our town!  Now we really do have an alternative!  :D  To add to that excitement was the knowledge that many of the boys joining were former den and pack friends as well.  But that's a post for another day.  Today's post is about saying goodbye.

BSA, I fear you have made a fatal mistake.  Even if your organization survives (and I tend to think it will, actually), it will never be what it once was.  It is fundamentally forever changed...for worse, in my opinion.  You can still do good, of course, and help mold boys into men of good citizenship and strong civil service.  But you've given away a piece of your soul and in so doing have turned your back on your Christian roots and by extension God Himself.  You may continue to exist but will cease to breathe real Life into these young boys.  That sounds harsh, I know.  Truly, I mourn for you.  I loved BSA.  But this change we cannot abide and apparently, many other families feel the same way we do.

See what happens when an organization that families love abandons what they really loved about it?  They leave.  Then, those families start their own organization and bring it right back to the heart of the matter.  Please don't think we left the scouts to join TrailLife.  This wasn't a "stick it to BSA" move. 

No, the truth is this was a "stick with God" move. 

We just left.  Then, the Lord supplied His own alternative.

And no matter what any person or organization does or doesn't do, the Lord will always have the final word.

With a tear in my eye and a burning hope in my heart, my final word (for this post anyway ;)):  Bye-Bye, BSA!

Blanchard Springs! (Day One)

We had a marvelous time this weekend with our fellow cub scouts and their families at Blanchard Springs Caverns in Fifty Six, Arkansas.  (Yes, that really is the name. :))  (This was also the very first Lillard family camping trip!  The very first time Josiah or Sadie had ever been camping and the very first time we'd gone together as a family.)  What beautiful country!  I really wish I could post pics from this trip.  I'm really getting sick of using disposable cameras.  (Someone, please tell my husband to get me a digital camera for Christmas! ;) )  I never know if my shots are any good and I can't immediately come home and post them online.  Instead, the questionable quality images sit trapped inside the disposable until all the exposures are, well, exposed and then developed.  So, I will try to remember to post pictures (if any of them turn out decent enough) but I'm not making any promises.  That's how I get myself into trouble...broken promises. ;)

Anyway, some from our group went up Friday instead of Saturday.  We considered doing that too but decided not to because #1-Justin works until 5 and it gets dark around 5:30 now ever since the time change took effect.  Putting up a tent in the dark is not my idea of a good time.  #2-Even if someone put our tent up for us (which they did. Thank you, Kerry!), we'd still be driving in the dark on unfamiliar roads, with one working headlight and a husband who is teetering on the verge of "night blindness".  We'd all like to get there in one piece, if you know what I mean.  And #3-We figured as soon as we got there, Jackson's "meltdown clock" would start ticking.  We thought it best to leave as much sand in that hourglass as possible.  All things considered, I think it was absolutely the right decision!

We left the house Saturday about an hour and a half later than I had hoped but I didn't get myself worked into a tizzy about it like I've been known to do. ;)  This was, after all, supposed to be a nice, relaxing, and fun weekend getaway.  I was not about to let 90 minutes of "disappointment" ruin an otherwise fantastic 2 days!  We weren't in any danger of missing the first scheduled activity anyway, the cavern tour, so we took (in my opinion) a leisurely drive to our destination.  I say "in my opinion" because I was driving.  Justin probably has a much different perspective seeing as he started singing to me a time or two on a couple of mountainous curves.  (Yes, I meant singing.)  After one occasion, I heard my precious echo from the back seat say, "Yeah, Dad.  Relax.  Everything's fine."  Love that girl! LOL

 The drive alone was gorgeous.  We hadn't gone very far when it occurred to me that I forgot to make sure we had dramamine.  All 3 of our young ones are prone to motion/carsickness but that's especially true of Josiah.  We've had more emergency stops than I care to remember in our long road trip history.  I did not want to have another one.  I'm happy to say that we made it to our campsite without incident!

Our group campsite was AMAZING.  And when I say amazing, I mean we literally had our own cave...with bats!  Don't worry.  We didn't pitch our tents in the cave.  Although, I don't think our kids would have minded it if we had.  They absolutely loved that cave!  (And there were only 2 little bats in there. Harmless, really.;) )  Jackson also found a climbing tree.  We didn't have to worry too much about where our kids were whenever we were at camp because 99.9% of the time, they were either in the cave or around (or on) that climbing tree.  Justin and I have decided that we're in the market for a cave now.  If you know where we can get one real cheap, please let us know! ;)  Still undecided on the climbing tree, though.  Jackson has no trouble climbing UP the tree.  It's climbing DOWN that causes an occasional problem or two.  We're not in the market for broken arms and/or legs so, best wait on the tree.  But, caves.  Caves are good. lol

The cave tour was fun, too.  Thankfully, they did NOT turn out all the lights inside the cave.  I think I personally would have enjoyed a demonstration like that but not with my kids in tow.  There would have been much weeping and gnashing of teeth...and clawing at Mommy.  You could tell Sadie was scared because she kept covering her ears.  Not eyes.  E.a.r.s.  Silly girl.  Josiah wanted to be held nearly the whole time and Jackson kept reminding us that he wanted to go home.  (I know what you're thinking.  "Yeah, Steph.  That sounds like great fun!"  It really wasn't as bad as it sounds, though.)  I'm really proud of them, actually.  They didn't scream or cry.  They pressed on and began to lighten up the longer we were in there.  Jackson pointed out a rock in the cave that looked to him like a dragon (and when I looked, it did look a lot like a dragon's head) and Josiah even tried to share a joke with everyone during one of the group talking stops that was riddled with bad jokes. Wanna hear it?  Question: "How many bats are in a cave?"  Answer: "One."  I warned you they were bad.  His was funny simply because it was so bad! lol

Back at camp later, our fearless leader Adam, demonstrated a science experiment with all our cub scouts involving water, an air pump, and 2-liter soda bottles.  Jackson wasn't very interested at first.  This demonstration was too close to his climbing tree and cave.  He's a boy of action and has little use or time for words.  But once he saw that bottle rocket into the air, Adam had his full attention.  Jackson laughed so incredibly loud every time a bottle left the ground after that.  We should really expose him to "The Three Stooges" because he loves slapstick humor. :)

Saturday night, all the dens each put on a skit for the pack.  They were really cute.  Our den's skit was kind of like a TV news interview gone terribly wrong.  I was the reporter interviewing the Tiger Cubs and asking each of them what they liked about being a Tiger Cub.  The first one (my son) said "Nothing." (Yeah, I'm thrilled with that answer. *insert sarcasm*)  Others said, "Because you can shoot bow and arrows, b-b guns, use pocketknives, build fires, and it's fun."  I asked if I could be a tiger cub and was told no.  When I asked why, I expected to be told I was too old but noooooo...instead, I was told it was because I'm a girl.  I have to be in girl scouts, not boy scouts.  (I think Girl Scouts of America could learn a valuable lesson from this, don't you? ;))

After the skits we all settled in around our respective campfires and just enjoyed each other's company while the majority of the boys ran wild in the field with their glow sticks screaming, chasing each other, and just having an all around wonderful time.  Our kids stayed with us and made smores.  What's a campout without smores, right?  By 8 PM it felt like midnight for all of us.  Justin took Josiah to the tent to sleep but Sadie followed him in and they started playing instead.  So, the 3 of them made up a bedtime story and it's entirely possible that Justin was the first to fall asleep.  All I know is that he never came back out that night. :)  In the meantime, I was sitting in someone else's camping chair with our 6 year old in my lap who was just as fast asleep as they come.  I do not know how I managed to get out of that chair holding him but somehow I did.  Special thanks to Meredith for unzipping our tent so I could get him inside without dropping him! :)

This pretty much sums up Day 1 of the weekend trip.  I'm gonna stop here for the night because I'm extremely tired and this post is already too long.  Day 2 tomorrow.  More fun stuff!

Link to: Day 2