Lost Titles and Lessons of Laughter

All married couples have them.  Even the good and strong ones like mine and my husband's.  We are by no means immune.  You know what I'm talking about.  The arguments that periodically ensue over the same old things?  You hem and haw and chew on it awhile and then, leaving the issue still unresolved, stick it back on the shelf until the next time one of you gets the urge to take it down, dust it off, and hem and haw over it again.  That's just life, I guess...particularly for two people as bull-headed as we are. lol

Lately, there has been a recurring thorn in our side and hopefully the Georgia Department of Revenue will do something to remedy that very soon.  Without going into the boring details, suffice it to say that my husband and I do NOT like talking about the lost title to our van and the havoc that such a simple thing like that can wreak on our demeanors and the overall pleasantness in our home.

Our latest "episode" happened last night in said van while we were driving down the road...as a family.  Yes, our kids were with us and heard our "argument".  Personally, I like to think that Justin and I disagree in a healthy manner most of the time, if that's even possible.  We don't resort to name calling or screaming or throwing things...most of the time.  (I once threw an entire roll of toilet tissue at him, hitting him in the back of the head with it, but in my defense...I was pregnant at the time.  Those hormones are no joke! ;))  I also don't think we do our children any favors by never fighting in front of them.  I mean, they do need to learn how to respectfully disagree with someone, right?  Only problem is, I'm not sure we were the best role models of that on this particular evening.

Right as we were in the middle of our heated "debate", Josiah started to whine from the back seat, "Mommy, Sadie said I'm..."  Before he could finish I was already getting on to him.  I was stern, focused, and in no mood for their shenanigans with each other.

"Josiah, how many times do I have to tell you guys to just get along?  Now work out your own problems amongst yourselves.  Can't you see that me and your Daddy are fighting right now?"

Naturally, my response to Josiah elicited a snort and a chuckle from my loving husband.  He tried to contain it but let's face it, it was funny.  I couldn't even type what I said without laughing.  What a ridiculous thing to say!  I'm getting on to my son for fighting with his sister while at the same time telling him I can't get involved in their problem because I'm too busy fighting with their daddy.  I definitely need to write that one down in the "Things I Never Thought I'd Say" book...that is, if I ever get one written.

Honestly, we were both glad for the comic relief.  I think it helped us put things in perspective.  I also think that laughter and humor are so important in a marriage.  Things seem to go much more smoothly when we just lighten up and stop taking ourselves so seriously all the time.  It's important to note that our "debate" went right back on the shelf that night still unresolved, but I'm ok with that.  We at least worked out a few things and while we still don't agree entirely on the issue, I believe we understand each other's perspective a little better.  Plus, we have something else to laugh about now.  A sure sign of a healthy marriage, right? :)

Newspaper Nuisance

Until today we had a Sunday-only subscription to the Arkansas-Democrat Gazette strictly for the coupons.  About a month or so ago, we received a notice that the cost was going up from $7.25 to $11.25 per month.  THAT is a significant increase.  I became particularly perturbed by this when our paper was not delivered yesterday, which has happened 3 or 4 times already during the life of our subscription (which is only a once-a-week delivery in the first place).  I bought a paper yesterday for $2.  $2 x 4 weeks= $8, right?  When I called to cancel, they offered us a 6 month extension of $7.95 per month.  I still said no just to avoid the hassle of unreliable delivery.  It pays to call but still frustrating to have to do that...and every other time our paper is not delivered.  I have enough on my plate (as does the majority of the human population) without having to stop and make sure other people are doing their jobs.  I'll just stop by Walgreen's or a gas station from now on.  Good news for the Gazette: newsstand price is still worth the coupons, therefore I will still be buying their paper.  Bad news for the "paper boy".

It's Only God Who Makes You Whole

It's been over 3 years but holidays are still hard.  Not as hard as the first year.  But still hard.  Honestly, this year may be harder than last year simply because this is our family year rotation for Christmas, meaning I would normally be seeing Matt on the 25th along with the rest of the family, whereas last year was an "in-law" year so seeing him for the holidays wasn't expected.

So as Christmas draws nearer and nearer, I still find joy in the season while savoring and creating more precious memories with my husband and children as well as our extended family.  Yet, the ache remains.  The longing for him to be a part of this, for my nephews to be a part of this (another very difficult thing to swallow particularly since they are still alive), for what might have been...  There is a hole, a void, something- nay, someones missing.   And there always will be.

But that doesn't mean we remain stuck in our grief.  It doesn't mean we spend the rest of our lives in misery or dread every holiday.  We have good days and we have bad days.  Hopefully, as time passes and God heals our broken hearts we have more good than bad days.  Those of us who have traveled through the valley of grief and loss understand that feeling, particularly Christians.  We have heartache, but we have hope.  We miss those we love but are thankful that we will see them again and look forward to that day when God makes everything new and there is no more death or crying or sorrow or pain.

I started thinking about Matt on the way home this afternoon.  The kids wanted to listen to one of their CD's for the umpteenth time and one of the songs (which I've heard a zillion times before) really struck a cord this time.  Here are the lyrics and a youtube clip of a children's group singing the song.  The entire musical is really cute so if you are interested in the sheet music or CD, go to kidsworksmusic.com for more information.  The name of the show is "Life is Good" and the title of the song is "Good Grief".  The lyrics that really "hit home" with me are in bold.  If this is your first Christmas without a loved one, first of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Secondly, please take heart and do not fear.  God has overcome the world.  He can heal you.  Going through the fire can and will be painful and for someone as impatient as I am, it can take awhile.  But He will never leave you.  Will you come to Him?  Will you trust Him?  He is waiting.

No one on the planet is happy all the time.

Bad things happen every day.

But if you just remember, that God is there with you,

He will help you when you pray...

"Good grief." (x2 with echo)

It's perfect peace beyond belief.

It's knowing God is in control, good grief.

When something awful happens and you don't understand.

You can't find any hope inside.

The LORD wants you to trust Him, and never be afraid.

His loving arms will hold you tight.

Good grief. (x2 with echo)

It's perfect peace beyond belief.

It's knowing God is in control, good grief.

When trouble robs you like a thief,

It's only God who makes you whole, good grief.

Life is like a roller coaster, full of ups and downs.

Each day has good and bad times, with smiles and frowns.

But God promised to be there through all of our thicks and thins

And after the darkest night a bright new day begins.

Good grief (x2 with echo)

It's perfect peace beyond belief.

It's knowing God is in control.

Good grief (x2 with echo)

When trouble robs you like a thief,

It's only God who makes you whole,

Good grief.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Psalm 34:18

Bedtime at the Lillard House

Jackson read a story to us tonight about...you guessed it!  Animals!  The title is "I Love Animals!"  Once we reached the "In the Jungle" page, we read about pythons and tigers which led to the following conversation...

Jackson: "Pythons can squeeze and take your breath away so you can't breathe."

Me:  "Yes, you're right.  We should probably stay as far away from them as we can then, huh?"

All 3 kids agree wholeheartedly and Jackson reads the next section about the tiger...

"Tiger, with stripes of orange, white, and black, this tiger's looking for a snack"

Jackson:  "Whoa!  We better look out for that tiger too.  He's hungry!"

Sadie: "Yeah, and tigers eat meat and you know what we have that's inside of us?  Meat!  (pauses for emphasis) AND blood!" (eyes conveying the seriousness of this message.  We would do well to heed her warnings. lol)

After reading time, Sadie begged and pleaded for me to tell her a story while she was lying in her bed...

Me:  "Once upon a time.."

Sadie: "No, Mommy.  You have to turn the light off first."

Me:  "Okay, let's do that."  Light is off.  I start again.

"Once there was a lady named Sadie."

Sadie, giggling: "No, Mom.  Not a real story.  It has to be about a princess."

Me:  "Oh, ok.  Once there was a princess named Sadie."

Sadie, laughing: "Noo, Mom.  You have to use a real princess, like Sofia the first."

Me:  "Ok.  Once there was a princess named Sofia the first."

Sadie, giggling uncontrollably and clearly exasperated with me: "Nooo, Mom.  Hahaha  It's just Sofia.  Her name is not 'the first'.  haha  It's just Sofia. You have to haha start over."

Who knew I was such a bad storyteller?  lol  Tough crowd tonight, I guess? ;)  Memories.  Sweet, sweet memories.

My Experiment: Ethanol-blended Fuel versus Pure Gasoline

This experiment is only 3 tanks into the making but I'm already a believer.  First, we own a 2000 Nissan Quest that we purchased used in October of 2010.  From then until just recently, we were only using the ethanol-blended fuel that most everyone else in the country has been using.  Being an older vehicle, it has not been without its problems and has been in and out of the shop too frequently for my tolerance.  Periodically, I noticed that there seemed to be a correlation between where I filled up the tank last and the "knocking" and "sputtering" our van experienced.  As a result, I began to avoid Wal-mart, Kroger, and Sam's Club fueling stations.  It seemed to help but never completely eliminated the problem.

So, I did a little research on ethanol-blended fuel versus pure gasoline and was a bit surprised at what I found so I decided to test the theories I found to see if there was any validity to them. 

The Mind of a Child

I left Justin at home this morning with Sadie while I took the boys to school.  Before walking out the door I gave her specific instructions to get dressed for preschool so she'd be ready to leave when I got back.  The following conversation occurred when I returned.

Me:  "Sadie, are you dressed?"

Sadie:  "Yes, mommy, but I can't find any shoes."  (Don't know about you, but this is a FAR too frequent occurrence at our house.)

Me:  "I see a tennis shoe right there.  Maybe we can find the other one."

Sadie:  "Well, I was looking for my pink boots but I can't find them."  (beginning to pout, whine, and otherwise tear up.)

Me:  "Oh!  I remember seeing those earlier this morning.  (looking around)  Where did I see them?  Have you checked the bathroom?"

Sadie, heading to the bathroom:  "I found them, Mommy!  Here they are!"  (relieved and overjoyed.  All is right with the world again.)

Me:  "Look at that.  I'm so smart.  How did I get to be so smart?"  (jokingly, of course.)

Sadie:  "Because you're big!  And you eat Smarties!"

Thank you, Lord, for the mind and innocence of a child in such an imperfect and fallen world.  Have a blessed day!

Election Fast 2012: Week 3 & 4

I had a seizure at the beginning of week 3 so that's partially why I didn't get around to posting last week.  The enormous headache that follows a grand mal can be debilitating to say the least.  Then there is also the disorientation and confusion to deal with.  I usually tend to get over the vast majority of that rather quickly but my mind can still be left feeling "hazy" or "foggy" even a couple of days later.  With all of that going on, I've been playing catch-up for a while.  Here is a brief rundown of our political involvement over the past 2 weeks as well as an update on how my fast is going.

Sadie and I attended a luncheon at Doc's Grill on Monday (2 weeks ago) where Tim Griffin was supposed to be speaking but due to a death in his family, he was unable to be there.  Instead, someone spoke briefly on his behalf and then Mark Biviano had the opportunity to say a few words.  Honestly, by then my ibuprofen had worn off and my headache was about the only thing I could concentrate on.  We sat with a retired couple who were very sweet and inquisitive.  I wish I remembered more of the conversation but like I said, I was mostly focused on one thing.  Headache.  Justin would have been at the luncheon had he been in town but he had a conference in Springdale so it was left to me and Sadie to show our support. :)