Josiah's Beginning

It started out as any other normal day, except it also happened to be Justin's birthday.  I was working as a special education paraprofessional for a local middle school.  Jackson was just shy of 7 months old.

I was talking with one of the science teachers that I aided, Mrs. Jorja Berg, in the office adjoining her room and Mrs. Mandy Welch's room, another science teacher next door, both of whom I considered my good friends.  I don't exactly remember how this conversation got started (There's really no telling.  We were known for our randomness.), but at some point we stumbled onto the subject of menstrual cycles and the fact that I was late.  I wasn't worried about it because I was breastfeeding, after all.  I couldn't be pregnant.  Jorja was not so convinced.  This part I do remember.  "Just how late are you?" she asked me.  "Eleven days," I replied very flippantly and nonchalantly.  "ELEVEN days?!?!  You need to get tested, girl."  Well, I still didn't think I was pregnant but her alarm definitely shook my confidence.  Mandy just happened to be at Target on her lunch break so we called and asked her to pick up a pregnancy test and bring it back.

Mandy came racing through the door about five minutes before the bell rang for class carrying the now infamous test (in a bag, of course.  No need to traumatize the children. ;) Sadly, it probably wouldn't shock them at all, but that's a story for another day.).  She said, "I got it!  I just know the cashier thought I was crazy checking out with a box of tampons, pads, and a pregnancy test."  (Yes, she's hilarious!)


I planned on waiting until later to take it since class was about to start but Mandy and Jorja can be very persuasive.  Naturally, they wanted to know and Mandy was planning to lecture during the first part of the class period anyway so there really wasn't anything for me to do right then.  I grabbed the test and headed down the hall to the nearest private restroom.  Now remember, I still don't think I'm pregnant.  I basically agreed to take this test to confirm what I already knew:  I'm not pregnant.  So, I took the test and watched as the first window began to change.  Here's my stream of consciousness during and after that time.  "One line.  See, just as I tho...What?!  Is that a second line?  Is it??  Where are the stupid directions? Did I take this thing right?  That's another line, right?  Am I seeing things?  Oh!  I'm pregnant!  I'm pregnant?  I can't be pregnant!  What?  I can't be.  It's just not possible.  Is it?  Wow, I'm pregnant.  What is Justin going to think? How am I going to tell him?  Well, today is his birthday which means this is either the perfect time or the worst time to tell him.  Stephanie, you have to tell him.  Come on.  Get a grip on yourself."  Yes, I talk to myself.  Don't you? ;)

I was in such a state of shock and disbelief that I don't even have the words to adequately describe how I felt.  Nonetheless, I took a few deep breaths and tried to wipe the ridiculous grin off my face.  When I walked into the classroom, Mandy was at the front teaching so I went directly to my desk at the back and sat down.  Then, from the front Mandy asked me, "Well?"  All the kids turned toward me.  I couldn't say anything.  I just looked at her with eyes as big as saucers and that ridiculous grin on my face again!  "Yes?  Really?!  Jorja.  Go tell Jorja!"  Thankfully the conversation didn't go any further than that while the kids were in the room.  After all, it wouldn't really be appropriate for the entire school to know I'm expecting another baby before his father even knows he exists.

Speaking of which, telling "Daddy" that night was so much fun!  I'm really glad that I found out on his birthday.  I would never have been able to keep that secret a moment longer!  Just a few hours was tough enough!  I decided to tell him by just wrapping my pregnancy test in with his present.  He pulled his book out of the bag and seemed pleased with it.  I was sitting on pins and needles waiting for him to look in the bag again but he must have thought that was all.  I finally had to tell him there was something else in the bag.  He dug through the tissue paper until he found it.  I'll never forget his exact words..."You're pooping me, right?"  Um, no.  Not this time.  Definitely not.